Bucket List...

I spent the morning with Mimi and did her usual shower and all the normal stuff. Before her shower though we talked one of our good deep talks and I wanted to share some of that with all of you.

I can only share my perspective on this conversation that we had, but I want to share it with you anyway... I will be the first to admit, I am naieve to the full understanding of what is happening with Mimi and I in no way shape or form know what I am talking about during our converstations like this one... I only can share with what comes from my heart and what my heart is "feeling".

As blunt as this may sound, it's the truth. Right now Mimi feels like she has lost her hope/faith. She shares that she carries guilt because of that loss of faith and hope, yet doesnt know what to do with either. I feel like that's a tradgedy and want to help her find at least some of it. NOT in the sense that she has to go back and find the hope of she will be ok or whatever... but more the sense of purpose for whatever time God has left for her here on Earth. I think she has accepted the fact that she is going to die.... NONE of us know when that's going to happen... none of us know when that's going to happen for each of us for that matter. I think the best way to explain what Mimi has been telling me is that, she has just accepted she is going to die and so whats the best thing she can do just ride it out smoothly. None of us know how this must feel unless you have been in that position. Like I said before I have NO understanding of what she is feeling. I almost see her curling up into "a little ball" metaphorically speaking. A ball that takes her away from it all... not only from the pain/disappointment/hurt that she may be feeling, but it also takes her away from any joy in life.

I asked her today if she had seen the movie Bucket List. If you have... you know that a bucket list is a list of roughly 20-25 things you want to do before you die. I tried to get out of her what some of those things for her would be. Let me tell you that was tough.

1. She wants to redo her kitchen.
2. She wants to get slip covers for her couchs and the new chairs they ordered for the living room!

Sounds very reasonable to me... but I want to get to the root of what does she want to do that gives her purpose... purpose to get out of bed everyday. Something that can take her mind off the few things she is concerned with right now... she seems to almost be in survival mode. Her next thoughts usually are: 1) when can I go lay back down in bed? 2) What is for the next meal (the steriods are keeping her apitite good) 3) When do I have to sit out in the chair next?

First of all... don't get me wrong... I am ALL for her having her healing period and getting the rest she needs. None of us want to push her further than she should... but I see her hurting so badly and so down and in tears way too often and I know she deserves and needs more than that. I feel like its our job as her family to help her get to that place. Maybe it just takes time, maybe we just need to wait for her and her/God's timing... I don't know. I do know that I don't want to push her for my own selfish reasons... I want to and I know I speak for everyone in the family... that we want to do whatever is right for Mimi.

I feel comfortable sharing all of this here because it isn't anything her and I haven't discussed. I have come down on her once or twice and flat out asked her... where did all your hope go? Selfishly I said to her... it's not fair to JJ to have to watch you be in bed all the time... what if God is only giving you a short amount of time left here... is that how you want to spend the last years/months/days... whatever... with him? with any of us?

I know Mimi in her heart of hearts wants and needs more and that's what I am after. I want to help her find that. I know she is making some great progess healing from a surgical standpoint and I am also realisitic to know that her brain is definitely affected by this tumor... sometimes her vision and thoughts are very unclear. Other times... very clear. We don't know how else her brain and emotions are affected by all of that... and then the meds and side effects etc... it gets rather complicated! That im all ok with.

Again, just to recap thoughts here... HOW do you find that hope again? Not false hope, but hope that gives you peace and happiness.

Any thoughts friends? I hope I have conveyed this in a good way, but maybe some of you have been in a similar situtation or maybe just have some thoughts, words of hope, or whatever comes to your mind. Feel free to share...

As always you can email her at: strengthformim@yahoo.com (I promise we are getting each and every email to her)

Just checking in

Nothing major to report. Things are holding steady for Mimi. She has very little pain, so is off nearly all pain meds. This is wonderful because we all know the side effects were rough for her.

She is doing well with her daily schedule and is able to stay awake and out of bed for longer periods of time.

Please as I said in the posts before, feel free to stop by and bring some joy with you! I think that helps the day go along a bit faster for her and keeps her spirits up and gives her other things to think about.

Just give a call before you come by if you would! Thanks so much everyone... try to stay cool!

Bette than I expected!

Well I am sure you could tell in my last blog that I wasn't sure how things would go with Mimi and getting her up and around. Well it was a complete SUCCESS!! We got her showered, lotioned up, dressed, and sat her out in the living room. HUGE step from where she started. She said she felt so much better. My mom put her earrings on and her necklace and she looked like a new woman!

You would not believe how good her incision on her head looks. I think we counted like 12 stitches. I think I mentioned before that they didn't shave her head and really she looked like a million bucks 4 days post surgery.

My mom talked to her about making a schedule of when she going to be doing things throughout the day. Like when she will be setting out in the living room, and when she will have her meals etc. We are hoping this will at least get her on a schedule back to her new form of normalcy! She did end up setting out in the living room for a few hours and chatted with everyone.

So again just to second everything I said yesterday... feel free to drop by if you can bring her some hope and encouragement... that would be lovely! I know she has some incredible friends and loves you all dearly! Thank you everyone.!

Back at it

Hi everyone. Sorry to keep you hanging... I was sick this past weekend and had an open house out of town. We are back in town now and I am blogging from Mimi's computer.

Overall things for Mimi are going well. It seems that the surgery was a success and she is pretty comfortable. She came home from the hospital yesterday. Her stay was extended in the hospital because she had some rough reactions from the pain medications they were giving her.

Tina and Nuna have been caring for her all weekend. Her apatite is good. The steroids are making her hungry. They have her on Decadron a steroid to keep any swelling down.

Now... today's been a little rough. She wants to stay in bed and it seems as if some of her hope has faded... not sure if this is just a yucky side effect from the medication or if it's just that she is tired and trying to recover. It's tough to read her.

We just sat at the table and told her that we are not letting her give up. I think she's down, maybe a bit depressed. My mom is here (from Florida) and is the tough one of the bunch. She told Mimi that she is getting in the shower, because a shower always makes you feel better. She's being a little stubborn about it so we are feeling kind of bad, but know that it will make her feel better. It's a fine line to walk on keeping her up and healthy... we know the side effects are bad if you just lay there and risks of blood clots and pneumonia go up if she does just lay there although we want to not push her to do too much either... I guess I am asking for prayer and any suggestions you may have.

I also think it could be helpful if any of you (her friends from church) and such... feel free to stop by. I think anyone who can come chat with her and keep her engaged in conversation will help... I hope I am right by saying this, but again... it's a fine line. I know lots of you are worried about her and waiting to see if and how you can help and I think at this point... maybe call and mention that you are going to be stopping by and then just do it!

Talk more soon... off to get her a shower.

Just a very quick post

It's late, but I wanted to make sure you all got a bit of an update for today. Mimi had a rough night last night, they were giving her a lot of pain medication and she was reacting adversly to the Morphine. It made her very anxious and upset. Tina went up at about 1am to the hospital and stayed with her thoughout the night.

Same thing happened again this afternoon when they gave her more pain medication, it again sent her into a bit of a nervous state. Rest assure though she is doing well this evening. My mom (Sheri) who lives in Florida and I went up to see her a bit ago around 9pm and she was doing very well. She does have some head pain however seemed comfortable. She is now out of CCU and on a general med floor. I dont know yet when she will be coming home, I think it could be another 2 days though. She still needs to be able to get up and around and she has not been up yet.

Keep your prayers coming she certainly needs them all! Keep following twitter and ill update as I hear anything!

Love to you all!

Today's recap

Well today was overall a good day. Mimi reported to Pre-op at about 5:30 @ Alligence. All the usuals were started. By 7:15 we said our goodbye's to Mimi. At that point they had already given her some medication to relax her so when we said our well wishes she was nice and comfy.

They gave us a pager (similar to the ones you get at a restraunt :-). At about 8:15 we got a page that surgery had begun. We entertianed ourselves in the waiting room. Me, Tina, Angie and Nuna just chatted it up and made jokes to keep the mood light. They told us it would take about 3 hours. By the time 11:15 came around we were starting to get anxious because we hadn't heard anything. The hospital has a guy working who's job was to just keep us informed and updated on changes. That was helpful because it just helped us relax and know what we were waiting on. Around 11:30 she was in recovery they told us and then we headed to lunch in the cafeteria. She stayed in recovery for about an hour and a half.

Dr. Kotecha came out to talk to us... in a nutshell: basically he removed everything he could safely. He placed the gliadel wafers (chemo wafers). Nuna asked him how large the tumor was and he showed us with his hands... we were all a bit surprised with how large it actually was. He mentioned that we would now just wait and let her heal and then she may be eligible to do some radiation once all this is healed.

A friend of mine who is a CCU nurse (we saw her in the cafeteria) said that Mimi would be on her unit. I was thrilled to hear that because I asked Riki to keep her eye on Mimi and I knew she was then in good hands. They let us go in the CCU 2 people at a time to see her. Tina and Nuna went to see her first. She said a couple of silly things to Tina! Angie and I went in and chatted with her.

We were both VERY impressed with how great she looked. We had assumed they would shave the back of her head... not so. She has stitches back there but it looked great. She was a bit silly with us because of the medications, but of course wanted to be sure that everyone else was doing ok. We reassured her that yep we had gotten our coffee and lunch and we were all good to go... leave it to Mimi to be concerned about others after HER brain surgery!

I spoke with the nurse around 6pm because I was feeling the pull to go up there. I was worried about her being alone although I am sure she is in great hands and is getting the rest that she desperately needs. The nurse said that she was doing very well and was eating. Mimi was very hungry after surgery so that made her happy to get something to eat! They said she would go for a repeat MRI this evening just to be sure everything was ok.

Thats about it for today!

Thank you so much everyone for your prayers. I think we all felt very much at peace knowing that people all over the US and even as far as her friends in London were praying for her. There was certainly a peace and what felt like a blanket of prayers going up for her. I don't think it could have gone better. It was great to see her so capable after surgery so soon! WE LOVE YOU MIMI... now onto the healing prayers everyone! Thank you so much!

Well, tomorrow is the big day.

I just got home from Mimi's house. Did the daily emails and chatted with her for a bit. I asked her if there is anything that she wanted me to mention on the blog tonight. She just said, "I am just really at peace with all of this. I don't want anyone to cry for me, because I know no matter what I will be ok." I don't think it gets more humbling than that.

She will be having surgery tomorrow morning at 7:15. She has to arrive at 5:30. Any/all of you, please keep those prayers going all day. We are expecting that she will stay in the hospital for at least 2 days. Obviously I will keep you updated.

You will notice over on the right side of my blog I have added my twitter account. I know a lot of you may not be familiar with twitter, however... basically in a nutshell, it's a program where I can update anytime, directly from my phone. I don't need to log into this blog to get information to you. I will update as any information comes in. You can either log onto this site to read the updates if you are tying to keep up or you can just add me if you already twitter ;-) I don't want to this to be complicated, but my hope is that this way you won't have to wonder all day how things are going. You can keep up minute by minute.

If twitter is just too complicated for you, don't worry... I will update things right here tomorrow night. Check back anytime!

Thanks for making this a great week for Mimi with all of your encouragement! We love and appreciate you all!

Thank you everyone...

You kind words, scriptures, stories and thoughts have been the biggest source of encouragement for Mimi this week. I want you ALL to know how much EACH and EVERY one of those notes have meant to her.

Today was another great day for Mimi. She said she feels very much at peace and she seems very content. We had a great chat this evening about how each one of the emails you send, the content of those emails and the stories that are included bring a light to her because of who it comes from it takes on a whole shape... I hope I am describing that right... it's tough to explain the feelings we talk about. She said it could be something she had heard before, but because you all are sending it, it makes it so much more personal. AWESOME.

Uncle Bill (Nuna's brother) and his wife (Carol) were over to visit Mimi tonight for a bit. Jessi and her kids came out and had dinner with them while Carissa, Danielle, Kayla and I stayed out in the living room and folded laundry! I dusted and windex the living room... I knew it had to be driving Mimi crazy! I must add though, I told her I was super proud of her because I have never seen her just roll with the punches like she has been this past week... she is truly just taking this in stride... I would imagine the waiting game could play on your mind at times. I told her that's so good for her because any other time... that dusting would have been a priority and she would not have been able to rest until it was done. That honestly takes restraint and true self care. SO proud of you Mimi.

Angie, Lindsey and Zach are coming down tomorrow so I know she's really looking forward to having and seeing them. Zach will be getting his quilt from Mimi so I will have to get a picture of the two of them with the quilt Mimi made for Zach... I have yet to see it so I am way excited!

It was rather chaotic tonight at their house with so many people there... I think in the past it would have been a bit overwhelming to Mimi (6+ kids... overwhelming to anyone ;-) two of them were mine) but just to give you a sense of where her heart is right now... she enjoyed every minute of it. She said having them around gives her a reminder of all the things she needs to be here for and also a sense of hope comes with that I am sure.

A huge thing that was sort of an ahh-ha moment for Mimi... Betty B. (who is JJ's chime teacher @ church) sent an amazing email. The most profound visual that she shared in that email: She said she thought of the comparison of the spider web... with mimi in the center of the web and teh web is growing outwards in prayer for Mimi... Yes Mimi, the web keeps getting bigger and bigger for you. I found the BIGGEST web I could find online! Once again... keep those thoughts, scriptures and anything else you see fit for Mimi coming... they mean more than you will ever know.

Last but not least... I promised some pictures from JJ's birthday party. Mimi might have a fit if she knew I shared some pictures of her... should we keep that one a secret? I think she just prefers not to see herself in pictures and would prefer to stay behind the camera! I can TOTALLY relate! Enjoy!!!

Nice relaxing Sunday.

I went over to visit Mimi around 4 today. Nuna said she seemed to be having day that was a little less hope filled. I read her a great email from B. Wahr, who is currently battling breast cancer, Thank You for those thoughts and scripture... she asked me to be sure and write them down.

I made this today and I am going to frame it and take it over to her and set it right next to her bed before the day is over.

Other than that... not much to report today. She said it was just a relaxing Sunday!

How dare they!?! Foreign cars!

Just got home from Mimi and Nuna’s took the emails you all sent today over for her to read. I think this is becoming our little ritual in the evening. Usually when I get there she is in bed after a busy day and I go in and sit by her on the bed and read her the emails and my post from the day before. I could tell she was looking forward to hearing the emails from the day. Thank you everyone.

Mimi had a little list of things she wanted to tell me about today to put on the blog. I think the best part of her day today was that Jim, Nancy, their 3 girls (Nikki, Emily, and Jessica) and all of their kids (Iliana, Lucile, Mac, Sam and Sofia… I definitely spelled someone’s name wrong!) came over for a visit. Her note says this was a real light of her day. She also wrote “I love you all SO much.”

She said that last night she slept really well again. I'm so happy to hear that because you likely know how much more difficult dealing with everything is when you are not sleeping well.

She said Nuna helped her get her shower today. Her balance is bit off so she is being very careful not to fall. Here’s the BIG kicker for the day! The home health nurse for Great Lakes came today. The visit went well and as far as all of that goes they are all set for surgery and the follow up they will be handling afterwards. They took her vitals, did all of the registering, and left some information. They will not see her again until after surgery. All that went very well with the exception of ONE.VERY.IMPORTANT.THING. The nurse showed up in a HONDA. Are you kidding me Great Lakes? Nuna made sure you were chosen because of those Ford nurse cars. When I got to the house this evening that was the first thing Nuna told me about! He said, “would you believe she showed up in a Honda?”! Im sure you are laughing at this point… Nuna however… was NOT. He said if they are going to be driving foreign cars over here, I just can’t stand for that. I told some of you that that’s where we draw the line in Tildenville! American made cars thru and thru!

I was out for dinner tonight and ran into one of Mimi’s friends (Cindy)… Hi Cindy.! I gave Mimi that hug for you! Cindy asked if Mimi was going to be going to church tomorrow, so Mimi and I figured that a lot of you were also wondering or hoping that she would be there. They as a family have decided that tomorrow they will stay home. The Nascar race is here in Brooklyn this weekend so it’s a bit tough (although not impossible) to get to the church. The main reason though, since surgery is right around the corner and Mimi’s balance isn’t the greatest right now, she wants to be sure she doesn’t fall. Also taking the risk of getting a cold or something just wouldn’t be a smart move. Just know that she loves you all and knows that you will be praying and thinking of her tomorrow at church. Again thank you so much for your words, thoughts and encouragement…they REALLY mean a lot to Mimi… all of us for that matter.

Ill keep you posted! Good night all!

Well today was a great day for Mimi

For starters, she went to the cardiologist and got cardiac clearance for the surgery within about 30 minutes… no problem at all. She was very relieved with that being done.

I spoke with her right after her appointment. She sounded very positive today. She said a couple of things to me that I want to share with all of you. First, she metioned that she felt really positive today. She said that she woke up with a positive attitude and a general feeling of calm. She said her vision wasn’t as bad today even…. AWESOME! She shared with me that she just felt that God was telling her that this just isn’t her time to die. She said “I have too much to do and that I want to accomplish and I just feel like God is telling me now is not the time. I just know it‘s not my time.” Wow… those are some profound words. It is certainly encouraging to me because I know it is definitely an answer to prayer. Thank you everyone for those prayers… you are awesome and so is God!

Mimi made it to JJ’s bday party. She said she really enjoyed herself and that most important, JJ had a great time. One of his friends from school that he was unsure if he would make it was there and I guess he just lit up when the friend came… made his day! I did not end up going to take pictures since Mimi was able to make it. Tina and Carissa both took pictures so hopefully I can get a few of them to post here... or maybe one of them will post them here!!! Hmmm girls?!

This morning JJ went into the bedroom and asked Mimi if she would come and have breakfast with him. I hear they had a nice breakfast together. Sounds like a great start to the day for them.

I went over this evening and read all of your emails to Mimi. I can’t tell you all enough how much she loves hearing what you write. We got a good laugh about your swimming story Kristi! I also shared my blog post from yesterday with her… she laughed several times… and of course made a few remarks about how embarrassing that I would take pictures of her house with how dirty it is right now! LOL If you have never been to Mimi’s house… TRUST ME … it’s NOT dirty, messy or anything even near that! I can promise you… pretty much everything is in it’s place and just perfect! Another thing I admire about Mimi… she’s an impeccable housekeeper! However… she also thinks its never just how she would like it to be ;-) always room for improvement in her eyes, even when it looks perfect to all of us... right?!

You know the one thing I forgot to take a picture of yesterday was her Precious Moments. How in the world could I forget those… oh probably because they have always been there and they are just a part of things! She has quite the collection of them and a beautiful display too. I’ll get that picture sometime because really they are such a big part of Mimi!

I konw I said it before... but.... I want to reinterate that you all need to know how much your emails and comments touched Mimi tonight. Keep those coming I really think they are a great source of strength, comfort, and hope for her.

Robin S. shared some really neat thoughts in an email that Mimi asked if I would save… which just for the record I am saving all of the emails, but I thought I would share with all of you what Robin mentioned… Thank you Robin. I know Mimi found these words very touching. I am going to try to put something together to put next to her bed in a frame that she can see and be reminded of these few things often.

Proverbs 3:5-6... "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Trust Him, expect goodness, and watch Him work. Or, as Max Lucado puts it, "Don't fear... God not only read your story, He wrote it."

Last but not least…

I heard this song on the radio today… I’ve always really liked this song, but it spoke really loudly today especially the chorus…

Just a bit to report.

Mimi got home just fine last night and got all settled in. She told me that she was VERY happy to have her own shower, her own shampoo, soap, etc... and of course her own bed. She mentioned that you forget how much you like those things until they aren't there! Angie took JJ to see a movie in the evening so Mimi was home when they got back. I ran over to talk to Mimi about doing this blog. I wanted to get her blessing before I actually let it go "live". She said she was very comfortable with the idea and thought it would be a great way to help with communication. ;-)

I took over about 4 emails that I had gotten today, if you sent yours before 3:30pm, she got it! If it came after 3:30, I will get it over to her sometime tomorrow. gwtvfv c I asked how she slept last night and she said she slept REALLY well. Things for JJ's party are all set for tomorrow he is having a Star Wars cake and taking his friends to go play Laser tag in Tecumseh. Mimi sent Tina to pick up the party favors, and we all know whats an 8 year old party without that?!

Mimi still does not have cardiac clearance for the surgery, however she has an appointment at Michigan Heart tomorrow morning at 10am, so if she comes to your mind around that time please lift her up in prayer! Tina is taking her to the appointment and I may try to go to the party to get some pictures to show Mimi and for his scrapbook of course!

When I was leaving Mimi was tired and was laying down for a nap... good girl! Resting when she should. Angie stayed until about 3 today and then was heading home. I know she did some updating of Mimi's medical records and medication lists to help her stay on top of that stuff. Thanks Angie!! Love you! I like having you close by!

I think that covers things for today...

Last night as I was thinking about some of my favorite things about Mimi and the photographer in me decided that wouldn't it be fun to take some pics of some of things that are "so Mimi"?! Yep, im a dork like that... but blog posts are always much funner when you have pictures to look at right?! It's a crappy gloomy day here in Michigan today, so sorry the pics are a little dark! I think Nuna thought I was crazy taking pictures of the walls! LOL

I realized while I was there today that the most comforting thing to me and my children is that Mimi and Nuna are just there... you always know what to expect. I love that about both of them.

Like how about these pictures that Mimi has of all of us grandkids (and our kids too... their great grandkids) on the wall in the living room? How cool that they get to see us everyday... oh and I wish I still looked I do in my senior picture she has up there! I wonder how she decided not to update them after our Senior Pics were taken.. just curious... I like that one so it's cool with me! I remember when Jessi and I were in the years while we had our kids, Mimi was saying... you guys are making it tough because I can't get the same frames all the time... I think she went through a few different frames for all of them. What will she do in the coming years as the family keeps expanding? Don't worry... no one is expecting... and most definitely NOT ME... but Carissa is a Senior this year so all of us are grown ups now... well except JJ!

Our on the porch/summer living area... she has pictures of all of her neices and nephews kids... again I am sure they find the same comfort that we do in seeing those pictures that she has up there. If you give her an updated picture she is really good about getting them up there! I like that!

How about Mimi's cute little car that I often see her toolin' around town in... I remember when they first got the Mariner (that's the blue one) how many compliments they got and what a good lookin' car it was and how good she looked driving it. I think she really enjoys that car! Oh and just because... if you ever drive a car into their garage you will know that you will have a tennis ball or some type of ball attached to a string hanging from the ceiling ... just let that hit the windshield, that means that you are in as far as you need to be... genius Nuna!

A little off subject here, but here are JJ and Carson (my son) playing computer games this afternoon. Nice tounge Carson.

The waterfall in the yard... if you have known them for a long time you will know that there is a pool underneath all of that! LOL They used to have a pool that I remember spending a lot of time at with Mimi in my "growing up" years. Mimi LOVES the sunshine and always has. Her yard will make anyone jealous because she has that green thumb and the ability to make it look just gorgeous! Here's what it looks like today... as the summer goes on it will take on different looks as plants grow and change... I like that!

Last but not least... For some reason when I was thiking about their house and things I love... these plates came to mind. They have had these plates for as long as I can remember, but they are so Mimi and Nuna... I think they remind me of all the fried fish dinner we have ate on them after Nuna has gone fishing and usually accompanied with corn and rolls! Good family times and memories! Who knew plates would be part of that. I hope she never gets rid of them!

Ok everyone... again thanks for all your thougths, words of encouragement, and prayers! Hope you enjoyed the little photo journey!

That was Classic... no, id say Epic!

So yesterday morning the nurse (case managers) came in to talk to Mimi about being released from the hospital. They spoke about what needed to be done to be able to go home, she asked if Mimi would like to have a home health nurse to come out. Angie suggested that, yep, that would be a good idea.

The nurse then asked Mimi if she had a preference of who she would like to have come out to see her. The case manager listed all of the agencies... Allegience Home Health, Great Lakes and a few others... That's when Nuna (Chuck) spoke up and said, "Who are the one's that drive those Ford cars all over town?" What you don't know if you aren't from this area of Michigan is that Great Lakes Home Health nurses all have Ford Focus' that say nurse car and are all decorated with decals that represent the agency.

As you may know... Nuna retired from Ford! So... that's how this home health agency was chosen for mimi... She got the ones that drive the FORDS!!!

Nice nuna... HILARIOUS!

(This isn't Mimi's nurse... just an example of the car that they drive!)

Crisis means a Crossroads to a new journey

Hi Everyone! First let me thank you for stopping by. It’s likely that you got here because you are someone who loves Ruthann, a friend of someone who loves her, or maybe even someone who just wants to pray for her and the situation at hand.

I am starting this blog for several reasons. I think the most important task of this blog will be a great avenue of communication for those of you either out of state or just wanting to catch up on things. We have already found over the past few days that it’s an exhausting, although important task, to keep everyone “in the loop”. We hope to use this blog as that vehicle.

Ruthann (who I will now refer to as Mimi, because Ruthann just feels WAY too formal to me J) has many people who I know care about her. I know without a doubt that she has touched many lives with her kindness, thoughtfulness, love, friendship and many other ways.

I will attempt to bring you up to speed. A lot has transpired over the past few days. Mimi has suffered with headaches for a long period of time… years. On Saturday, Angie (who is Mimi’s youngest step-daughter) came down to visit and to attend Danielle’s (Mimi’s granddaughter) open house. Mimi mentioned that she had a headache over about 6 days and her vision had become “odd”. She said that she couldn’t see out of the left side of her peripheral vision.

On Sunday morning after a lot of coaxing and talking with everyone Mimi agreed to go to the ER to be checked out. We were all concerned about the possibility of a stoke. You likely already know that she had an artificial valve put in her heart a few months ago. She recently discontinued the use of Coumadin (a blood thinner) which raised the concern for the possibility of a stroke. In the ER on Sunday night she had an CT scan of her head which they reported to Angie and Mimi that it was highly likely she had a stroke and at that point admitted her to the hospital. Monday morning they performed an MRI and MRA of her head. The news came to us as there was a difference in what they saw between the MRI and the CT scan. At that point they called neurosurgery and had Dr. Kotecha (Mimi’s neurosurgeon now) come and talk with her about the findings of the MRI. He has told Mimi that the MRI is not what he had hoped to see. The diagnosis that he has told her he feels what she has is called a Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM) Stage 4. This is a very aggressive brain tumor/cancer.

To make a long story short after further testing, we now know that this tumor not a metastatic. This means that the tumor/cancer did not start/orginate from somewhere else in her body. The fear was that possibly she had additional cancer that had spread to her brain. As you can imagine, this was a huge relief to know that we were dealing with just this tumor right now.

Tina, Angie, Chuck (her husband/aka Papa Nuna), and myself were all there this morning when Dr. Kotecha came back to talk further about what to expect and get solid information from the source (person calling the shots ;-)

Mimi will have surgery to “debulk” the tumor next Wednesday, June 17, 2009 at Allegience Health. Dr. Kotecha said he will remove as much of the tumor as he can SAFELY. Mimi will wait until next week for surgery because she has been on Asprin which is also a blood thinner and it is imparative that her blood not be thin which would increase the risk of bleeding during/after the surgery.

Today (Wednesday) as we speak Mimi is being released from the hospital. I think this is a HUGE relief for her. JJ (her son and grandson J) is turning 8 on Friday and she really wants to see that he has a fabulous birthday. Being home will enable her to do that! I know she (and he) are really looking forward to his big day!

She will have Great Lakes Home Health Care come to the house as a visiting nurse, I think this will provide a great sense of relief for Mimi, someone checking her vitals, communicating with her doctor to stay on top of her pain, and just provide an overall check for her well-being until the surgery date (and likely after).

It’s been a rough few days as you can imagine. On Mimi’s behalf, I know that she appreciates all of your prayers, thoughts, and concerns. Mimi has a very strong faith in God and knows that this is all in God’s hands right now. You probably won’t be surprised to know that Mimi was reassuring all of us. We know that there will be days that are tougher than others.

If you are looking for specific things to pray for, I think a great place to start is; pray for wisdom for the doctors involved to make the best possible medical decisions regarding Mimi, strength, stamina, and also peace within her.

Thank you so much for everything. We ALL appreciate your support and love.

Written by Kari on behalf the whole family of Ruthann Tilden

We will try to update this everyday as things change/happen!

Also, we have set up an email address if you want to send anything to Mimi: strengthformimi@yahoo.com I don't know how often she will be able to check her regular email so if you want us to get something to her we will be sure to get it to her promptly!